Bobby Ocean's Stuff For Sale

Pick Through it; See Whatcha Like...
Times are tough, I don't hafta tell ya. Most of us are lightening our load, selling our stuff and traveling lean.

I'm cleaning the garage and thought. "...this is a perfect time to inventory some stuff, might discover a few assets, never can tell. Well?" Could happen...

So let's look over da moichandise. Lessee...

• An Air Freshener...
• Keychain with Compass...
• A Couple Of Those Dollar Wire Mesh Back Supports...
• One Back Scratcher.
• Used Paperbacks, Assorted...
• Drug Store Readers In Different Strengths...
• Bottle Of Stain Remover...
• Micro-Fibre Towels, Two.

Oh yeah. There's a fortune here.

I could go on eBay and say, "Hey, best offer," but I'm far too much of an old Bob Barker Fan. (Please spay and neuter your pets, but don't tell them I said anything)

Instead, I just wonder, if there was a Special Showcase Channel For My Stuff, ya know? Would I push it?

Tell em what's in the Showcase, Johnny...

--0--

POPULAR OPINION HAS CHANGED AGAIN

It's ALWAYS Time To Update Our List

I have always had more than a keen interest in Pop Culture. As I grew through grade school, television added to my fervor. Then radio.

Pop fascinated me. Any popularly held viewpoint could change; it could be expressed in almost any way. There were experts who had a professorial delivery. There were snobs with their better-than-thou pontification, there were opinions in editorials, there were positions to protest, there were comedians with current relateable barbs. Popular opinion was entertaining and all over -- the news, it was in the papers, the movies. And it was in the songs on my almighty radio.

Popular Opinion was very commercial. marketable. It wore many masks and even occasionally surfaced as just what it is, the more current references to the past. It has been called Trivia, Name That Song, Books Of Lists, tons more, but its one common factor is its transience.

It's called "popular" opinion because the trendy, prevalent perspective would change all the time, like the weather. It could well be termed "Current Opinion," but that doesn't have the same phonic fluidity. Looking further, the whole phrase seems to infer an opinion involved, when it's really just complacent, dazed mental grazing. What was giddily popular one day becomes another's trivia.

During a career in radio broadcasting, as a DJ playing popular music ("the Pop Hits!, the Top-40, then 30, then 20"), the value of Popular Opinion became instantly apparent and, of course, grew with the ongoing experience. I had already decided that, if I was going to go on the radio and make a fool out of myself, it might as well be the most popular one. Now, decades later, looking back on the whole thing, I see a string of number one ranked stations on my resume. And much valued experience.

Occasionally, it so happened on the radio dial that a dark cloud formed over a frequency and its station's type of presentation completely failed with the public, When this happened, it was not an uncommon practice to change the call letters along with the music playlist and all the previous players. Sadly, I knew powerful people who really enjoyed the firing process.

Not very deep thinking but that's the way it was. And, that's the way it is. job insecurity is everywhere today, with a slight update. It's no longer so much "you're fired," as it is "we're changing the direction we're going and you're too closely associated with what we're leaving behind," or "we're eliminating that position. You'll have to apply for the new one."

Truth be told, it has little to do with the workers; it's their salaries that go beyond the newly hired boss' dictated pay grades. The Boss also has his strings being pulled and will also most probably be let go soon enough.

Why get rid of the personnel who were only doing what they were told? Because the new regime wants to totally distance the station from that previous "loser" image, Thus,  a clean slate. In radio that meant "re-branding" the call letters successfully enough to go out and sell time again.

Re-branding. It can certainly be misused. In radio slang, it is called "putting lipstick on the pig." I know broadcasting so I use it as a metaphor, but it is just one of thousands of industries suffering the same disabling effect of greed at the top.

The Top Ten Of List Disappointingly Ineffective Industries is such a small fraction of all of them that you might run away, crying if the entire list was posted. Still, it's a start. My immediate top Ten List includes: the Oil Industry, The Medical Profession, Fast Food, Banking, Wall Street, my own Broadcasting Industry, the Oakland PD and a few others that have achieved such a Massive Amount of Nothing, or Sustained Evil In Such Propensity that, if they were radio stations, would have been repackaged long ago.

Popular opinion, and consequent re-branding, is moving faster and faster now. You can see it everywhere. Some will see it in the current Occupy Movements, others in the Netflix Switcheroo from Quickster and back to square one again. Others witness radical changes from the standpoint of practicing To Live Without As Much, which can be akin to spiritual.

Considering how disastrously current popular opinions have changed on so many of the products, and institutions with which we grew up, it occurred to me to draw up a Short List that most needed a re-branding if they are to survive. (I'll leave the Long List for you to compile, k?)

Tracking Current Popular Opinion, we note the following need Emergency Re-Branding, stat! Your list may vary:

Fast Food Industry - Seen As: selling Mystery Meat along with chemically injected ground beasts and artery-clogging fried potatoes, to go. They've lost the Wholesome Feeling. Need to regain trust. Hmmm..
Should be Re-Branded as: Keebler Burgers.

Broadcast Radio and TV News - Seen As: completely missing the concept of the product they're assigned to deliver, losing focus of the big picture and constantly re-hashing shared footage. This is a result of corporate "cost cutting," the two-dimensional juggling of numbers that fired just about all the reporters, and reduced even shareholders' TV content to bad play-acting and rendering that new HD-TV screen close to useless, unless you like re-runs. They've lost the entire nation's trust. How can they be repackaged?
Should be Re-Branded as: "Ken and Barbie World News Rehash."

Banking Industry - Seen As: so greedy as to be institutionalized in a mental hospital, hiring only McHelpers with no authority whatsoever, willing only to make 30-years loans.
Should be Re-Branded as: "Safe Stay-cation Theme Parks," where you can still stand in long lines, spend all your vacation money and not have to go on those pesky rides.

Apple's New iCloud - Already Seen As: way easier than Facebook, but, then, isn't everything? It's looked upon as as way to save a lot of money and time by easily, effortlessly synching up all proprietary appliances with no cords, redundant downloading or personal time spent; it's automatic. Seen as a huge parting gift from Steve Jobs, it enters the marketplace beloved.
Could be Re-Branded as: "iCant Do Without It"

The Oakland P.D. - Seen As: that place in TV shows, like Wired, where everyone on the force has dark secret and multiple shadow alliances. Seems they go through their own Chiefs Of Police faster than TV Season pilot shows; been through three Chiefs and hundreds of cops in the last few years. They badly need to rid themselves of old thinking and start fresh.
Need to be seen as doing their job, so, in order to reestablish believability, so should be Re-Branded as: "The Oakland Boy Scouts," but until they achieve that stage, just call them: "The Oakland Raiders"

Oil Industry - Seen As: heartless fiduciary ticks on the warm, unprotected underbelly of an innocent populace. The people bought the damned cars they saw whizzing around corners, parking with ease, in the commercials. Now the people are inching along in Reality towards their jobs spewing fumes from the poisonous gas they were sold at a daily fluctuating price. They know they've been suckered. They pay for parking, maintenance, bridge fares, and know the money trap machines are addicted to gas. As SOON as any alternative is put on the market, they'll be all over it.
Should be Re-Branded as: "Not Snakes."

That's a Short List. Half a dozen embarrassing cases only. There are too many more; we could both blog for years. point is: their CEOs should, at the very least, resign.

Popular Opinion mutates and spirals in all different directions every day, faster and faster. In Online Marketing, it is becoming more and more important to protect your "Net Reputation." One sure way to maintain this critical focus is to concentrate on serving rather than harvesting for self.

When you find other ways, be sure to share. That's how our perception changes, twists and rolls. It is a spiraling energy. A revolution.

--0--

Big, Or At The Least, Very Imposing, Brother Broadcasters

CORPORATE RADIO NEW HOUSE RULES, STRUCTURE, DRESS CODE...

When I entered radio a few decades ago, Programming was recognized as Top Priority, from where the money came. That which is on the air RIGHT NOW was paying for everyone's groceries and its Fearless Leader and those who worked under the Programming banner were respected, if not understood. As long as the ratings were good.

Times have changed, as Radio Solutions Experts (Time Peddlers) love to tell me when I visit any station in L.A., for example. "SALES is in charge NOW," they boast. Hmmm... Since when has the listener bonded with Sales?

More, since Sales is the new boss, what are they doing with that ability to attract, entertain and maintain an audience? I'll tell you this: when the coin obsessed don't know a thing about entertainment or broadcasting, they outsource it. They hire a programming consultant. Some of these radio consultants are priceless. I've even heard of one "expert" with a consultant of his own: a fortune teller. It was true; he mistrusted his own instincts so much he had to pull in Madam Turban and her crystal ball. Funny, and inadequate is REALLY funny.

A monstrous Conference Call of Radio 'Who's' for This One Corporation In Particular was reported to have taken place last week. It was between Those Who Tell Others What To Do on your air waves, (what songs to play, who to hire and fire, what costs to cut) and Those Who Must Obey.

The conference call was held by radio programming consultant Mike McVay, who,  among other dictates, apparently informed his troops, "All contracts with programming consultants will be severed immediately." If this is so, Mike just axxed himself, a first that deserves to be applauded.

But, dang, no. There was an even more recent interview, designed to spin the previous one, and, in it, we learn he didn't say, or especially MEAN that.

Nor did he mean there were 500 corporate managers and programmers on the line. That was just the inability to spin a lower number of attendees, is all. But there were enough on the call, maybe 350, to eventually realize everything he said would turn out to be otherwise.

So - when he said, "Jan Jeffries is the head of Country, Top 40 and Hot AC stations." what he meant is that Jan has been doing that all along. Still doing it NOW. I guess he just threw that in or thought it required repeating.

 

The statement, "Programmers will also receive a list of...(song) adds, other(s) ... will be subject to corporate approval." in fact turns out to include an open season reverse loophole: "...we're going to give those PDs the ability to decide the songs they want to play." (from that list they received?) "Part of my whole thing is that I want to get the very best broadcasting minds in the business in our company..."

Well! That's a big difference, even though that last sentence was completely irrelevant to the topic of Choosing Music or Following Corporate/Consultant Play Lists.

But, let's keep rolling. The edict made during the conference call, mandating "Stations will no longer be permitted to talk with record company promotion personnel..." is ACTUALLY: "...100% wrong," according to McVay. "They can absolutely talk to record company promotion personnel and can go to lunch or dinner or with them. I did say we have rules and regulations we all must live by, and I want record company promotions to run through corporate." Then McVay added, to underscore absolutely no point made earlier: "By the way, it is all about entertainment."

Well, I AM being entertained. By the acrobatics; indefatigable flip-flipping.

When, during the vast conference call, it was said, "All adds by all stations will be reported exclusively to Mediabase by one person in Atlanta," McVay INTENDED to say, rather, that they want the programmers to report all adds exclusively to Mediabase by one person, John Kilgo here (in Atlanta), who has always (done that)..." And to clarify, "I don't ...think that's too much to ask for a programmer, particularly if we're utilizing their input in the music they provide to us."

Huh? trying to follow that sentence was not unlike following a Mobius Strip. You give up trying to make sense of it and wait for it to end. but it just goes on and on. I lost the scent of reason at the part of the trail where "all stations were to be reported by ONE PERSON."

What about the new rule: "Programmers will have to make 'good arguments' if they choose not to carry Citadel Media-supplied programming?" What that really meant, says McVay, "...wasn't said in those words, either...What I said is that...if we have shows on our network that you're interested in and they're available in your market, I encourage you to take them....I heard one of our stations playing music and rolling sweepers with no air talent whatsoever, no voice-tracking, nothing that connected us with the community on a holiday weekend. [editor's note: nice to see that even the suits notice the effects of their own cost-cutting. OK, sorry]...I'd rather you carry syndicated programming than just play music and sweepers...."

And IF that Programmer WOULD RATHER NOT choose from Citadel Media-supplied programming, NOR finds interest in any other syndicated shows, THEN, before hiring anyone to do weekends, she can start writing out those "good arguments," right?

That tidbit about "Sometime in October, a new 'Programming Operating System' will be put into effect..." doesn't exactly mean that either. It goes into effect within days (or a few days ago, depending on when you're reading this) and it's absolutely not new; nothing different about it at all. The so-called 'New' Programmimng OS is not at all unlike what McVay called his Media's Systems Management Manual for years. Looks like the man is recycling his assets.

The news blip that said "Format Managers will be appointed, and programmers are being encouraged to apply for those posts" had a spin.  (And, of course they'll want to apply! It's either that or lose their income. That's a typical, undignified, cookie-cutter corporate scheme to avoid bestowing raises: eliminate the position, then create it again with a new name and make proven employees go through the application process.)

McVay says that, after the telephone conference, he "...got about 150 emails from individuals inside Cumulus who are interested in being brand managers, format captains, more involved in programming and having their responsibility and role enlarged." [read: keep pulling in a paycheck even if it means extra duty at less pay]

"So," says the Big Brother-man who keeps HIS paycheck and security at the expense of an entire corporation of others, "I'm really looking forward to digging within our company, as well as without, to find the best programmers and give them greater responsibility."

Gut it, Mighty Hunter Mike. Fill it with the desperate. Then sell it.

Here's the so-obvious-that-he-now-denies-it-Big-Brother-line: "...individual employees are not permitted to talk to the trades." That would be against Free Press, so... Not true, right, Mike?

Big Bro Mike says, "Not true; it never came up on the call. I would encourage our programmers to be interviewed and have profiles... the names that I'll announce sometime in the next 30-60 days are ones who ...I'll want ...to be interviewed. (In other words, re-apply for your old job IF you have created a corporate profile)

Finally: "...A dress code has been implemented: no blue jeans, flip-flops, piercings or exposed tattoos."

The next day, McVay was interviewed and said, "...Honest to God, it was never mentioned. I mean, today is casual Friday. I am wearing jeans, no socks, brown shoes and I have on a shirt that's tucked out."

I'm aghast, Mike, you hippy. He goes on, "...I've been saying I want to change the culture...SVPs stuck a note on my door that said, "I'm changing culture, not clothes." (Bet that SVP is wearing a gray suit, white shirt and red tie today)

And the Corporate Choke Chain, gagging your drones at Big Broth... um, corporate cluster of radio stations, that's all in our minds and not at all true either, right Mike?

"I'm sure if you're in Cumulus", he said, using the old scaffold analogy, "you feel like the noose around your neck was loosened. And I'm sure if you're in Citadel, you went, 'Hey, there's a noose around my neck.' So it's all perspective."

If you say so, sir. Point of View, then, got it. Way ya look at it, sure. Shee... I practically have a blog with that name...

Here's a POV: Instant irrelevance. A gentleman I've always had a nice chunk of admiration for, as I watched his radio programming consultancy move along over the decades, suddenly blows all that perseverance in one conference call. Now he's sounding like a writer for Rush Limbaugh. It's like one of those zombie virus movies.

--0--

Add Another Dimension.

YOUR VIDEOS MORPHED INTO 3-D
How could YouTube, owned by Google, get bigger and what good can come of it for you? Well, strap on your 3-D goggles and hang on.

With zero cost for expensive new gear, another dimension has just been added to your video-making. That's right! Your vids can be seen in 3-D.

I was spying, um, researching... Ok, Ok, my FB friend Robin shared a link with me. That led to another, and so on, until it became so dimensional. Literally.

From the official YouTube blog, this week, of Product Manager Shenaz Zack Mistry, entitled "Additional Creator Tools from YouTube," these gems:

Sparkler-1: One-click 3D video conversion! It's beta but before this cutting edge app showed up, you had to set up two cameras, combine the footage from each, and use special software to synch it up and make it look just right. No more. Today with Youtube you can enjoy 2D to 3D conversion. "Converted videos will be viewable by everyone in 3D." Yay.

Added Luster: No more time limit.

I HATE that online streaming dialog box that pops up saying, "you have already watched 72 minutes of Mega Video. Sign up or go away for a specified amount of time." As of today, less limitations. "The Google-owned video site announced... (select users will) no longer be limited to 15-minute videos."

In a statement that could have been written by Steve Jobs, the Marriage Of Humanities And Arts With Doing Business was once again underscored, "YouTubers are some of the most innovative, entertaining and inspirational people in the world, and their creativity often needs more than the current upload limit of 15 minutes."

Sparkler-2, and 3: Free apps! To edit your video and add ost production effects. "We’re adding two additional video creation platforms for you to make your videos even better: Vlix and Magisto. Vlix lets you spice up your videos by adding cool effects and text to the video intro and closing. Magisto takes your unedited video and automatically edits it into short, fun clips."

Just a few decades ago, it seems, computers started showing up in homes and the spread didn't stop. With them came the entire publishing business, from type-setting to word processing to printing with lazors.

Ray Kutzweil  seems to be right on about ubiquitous machines and exponential costs. Today, it seems the computer makers are stumbling all over each other to bring us the video industry.

--0--

AN UPLIFTING UPDATE

Twin Tower Remembrance, Rebuild

As this month begins we'll see a lot of different points of view concerning what has enterd our lexicon as The Nine-Eleven Tragedy.

Of all the stories you've heard, could you ever describe one as a story
you like? Well, maybe one or two.

A  picture's worth a thousand frames.

Certainly this one.

Here's a future memory. It's something that will have your chest thumpin', make you proud to be an American again.

Also you'll probably feel uplifted and delighted with the hard working New York construction crew in this great video, sent along to me by a friend, passed on to you likewise, as yet another of the endless Views and Ways.

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BEFORE CORPORATE RADIO : REMEMBERING IT ALL

The Inaccuracy Of "Nothing But Good Times"
Radio was the carnival I ran away from home to join, the raft I sailed through the infinite river of my Huckleberry imagination, the obsession with which I wrestled all my life.

As I began my career in broadcasting, it was limitless in scope, with the future as promising as living in the house right next door to Heaven. It was show biz, it was exhilarating, it was a slice of Eternity.

But it wasn't all good times, and to sequester the favored moments is flawed perception. A personal choice of limited outlook can only be described as delusional. The good times that, in fact, there were, stand out as even better only when one recalls the everyday flaws in the mix.

Memory isn't for just looking back on the so-called "good times," but all times -- every kind of situation that can be imagined squeezed into that dynamic duration.

Look again:

Remember the anxiety as ratings were yet to be announced?
Remember the things promised you that were never delivered?
Remember the disappointment when part of the team shirked their duty?
Remember when you found out a so-called friend turned out not to be?
Remember the sinking feeling when your ratings took a dip?
Remember when the listener called to ask you to play a song you just played?
Remember the many times you weren't acknowledged for your contributions?
Remember the embarrassment when inadvertently doing something not in the format?
Remember the suspense when you did something deliberately not in the plan?
Remember the empty feeling when a good programmer was replaced by a lame one?
Remember the lousy feeling when an entertainment choice was sacrificed for financial gain alone?
Remember when the phone never lit up?
Remember the drive in to work, through a drop-dead beautiful day, to a dank, closed-off studio?
Remember when the other guy was late for his shift, leaving you stuck?
Remember the phone calls asking, "What did I win?" when you weren't having a contest.
Remember wincing when the new boss delivered a stupid, minor market, newbie directive?
Remember being sorry for the good people axed in favor of an imaginary budget?
Remember losing a great jingle package for a newer, lesser one??
Remember records being replaced by playback media with no labels to see rotating on the turntable?
Remember knowing what you were capable of and being hobbled by a supervisor in fear??
Remember finding out that a few others made more money than you?
Remember wading waist high in the doubt created by others on the team?
Remember the PD coming back from a convention or focus group with bad ideas?
Remember the good ideas you had that weren't considered?
Remember breaking the rules and how it felt when you were wrong? Right? And then, caught?
Remember being typecast?
Remember reading and re-reading stale liners; worse: cut-and-paste copies from the last regime?
Remember how you felt when you learned your boss had to taught the names of the Beatles?
Remember imported programming stooges who always said, "The way we did it back in (town)..."?
Remember headphone hair?
Remember when the only motivation for career furtherance was being fired?
Remember having to clean up the mess in the control room from the previous pig?
Remember the multitude of means available for feeling isolated?
Remember the lay crowd talking glowingly about the other station?
Remember constantly having to prove yourself? Especially to each newer, younger PD?
Remember working when sick?
Remember having to apologize for something you still think was funny at the time?
Remember being told that the one who hired you was fired?
Remember when the lyrics you knew so well meant different things when heart broken?
Remember when you pushed a button and nothing happened?
Remember knowing it was a bad idea and having to sell it anyway?
Remember having to cross plug another jock you didn't like?
Remember feeling inadequate?
Remember finding your headphones, used by another, broken?
Remember fighting for an absolutely essential budget?
Remember when the other station's jocks had jingles and you didn't?
Remember discovering you were cheated out of money you rightfully earned?
Remember being misused, as opposed to properly being used?
Remember cue burns?
Remember control room filth, built up like plaque from lack of regular maintenance?
Remember your plans for the future beyond Boss Radio?

Do yourself the kindness of remembering it ALL, good and bad. Helps you see the future.

There were plenty of great experiences, but you would hardly remember them if it wasn't for their counter balance, the less-than-good times.

--0--

BILL THE SLAUGHTERED

Utility Plans To Charge Customers For Pipeline Repair

One year ago a tragedy that could and should have never happened blasted its way onto front page news in the Northern California Bay Area. Sept. 9th, 2010: a PG&E pipeline exploded underneath a San Bruno killing eight people and turning 38 homes to which they provided gas into toothpicks and shrapnel.

Get out your checkbook.

Now the Utility Company wants the VICTIMS AND CUSTOMERS TO PAY for repairs for which it is solely responsible. After what we've since learned, are not all customers of PG&E, essentially a monopoly, now its potential victims? Seriously.

That PG&E is completely at fault has been verified by tons of evidence. There were people in the PG&E organization well aware that they had a seam weld risk - for some reason it wasn't getting addressed. As one example, a company engineer recounted a visit to a site earlier where an inspection crew was checking for corrosion on a pipeline in the immediate vicinity known as Line 132. He reported learning that before he got there, crews had identified as many as 20 suspected cracks on an angled bend in a short piece of pipe.

Royce Don Deaver, an out-of-state pipeline consultant who worked for decades in the pipeline industry, agreed that the discovery of a gap in the seam weld as well as a crack on the pipe that was about 1 1/4 inches long. should have triggered inspections across all of Line 132.

"Had they addressed this," Deaver said, "and if they had investigated this thoroughly, they might have found problems with other parts of the line, even where the line failed."

He wrote that he had found a gap in the seam weld as well as a crack on the pipe that was about 1 1/4 inches long.

The maintanance crew had dug up the line when it lost electronic signals, an indication that corrosion might be present in the pipe. When workers kept digging they found the flaws, the engineer wrote. but, after reporting the problem, NOTHING WAS DONE ABOUT IT.

State and Federal investigations investigating the tragic explosion have also uncovered bad welds, inconsistent testing for safety and documentation so disorganized as to suggest suspected concealment. This scrutiny has shown us records so inconsistent and shoddy that it becomes obvious the Utility didn't at all know what condition most of its pipes were in, probably doesn't right now.

At first. it might seem a relief that Pacific Gas and Electric Co. is, at last, planning a long overdue, extensive upgrade to its natural gas system. That it is proposed in the wake of the San Bruno tragedy, unfortunately, indicates the plan is an afterthought. Makes it seem as if they HAVE to do it, but otherwise wouldn't. (One can imagine a board meeting, "Only eight people? We have thousands and thousands of other customers piping money to us, so what if we lose a smattering?")

Cementing the cold perspective of their lack of compassion and sincerity, comes news of PG&E's stunningly callous intention to make their customers pony up almost 90 percent of the $2.2 billion cost necessary to replace miles and  mles of more defective pipeline, that could actually blow up more neighborhoods before even one valves is upgraded.

As you would expect, the idea of forcing PG&E customers pay the far greater portion of the project's costs enrages both the Utility's customers and critics.

Our Assemblyman Jerry Hill (Dem, 19th dist.), who represents San Bruno, was waiting for this. "We knew this day was coming, when PG&E would expect the ratepayers to pick up the cost of the repairs," he says. "This $2 billion capital expenditure will increase their profits down the road. That should be looked at carefully. They should not be allowed to profit from this."

How does Pacific Gas and Electric feel about passing this enormous bill on to their customers? They simply avoid that key issue and redirect attention to their delinquently configured patch-up. PG&E Happy Face and Executive Vice President Nick Stavropoulos, who was only recently hired this spring, AFTER the deadly Big San Bruno Bang, prefers to speak of what's going on his resume: the blueprint to overhaul the company's gas operations,"What we're proposing here is a massive, order-of-magnitude change to the way we've done business in the past," he said.

This would only matter to the relatives of those lost in the San Bruno catastrophe in that it is as near a direct admission of the Utility's guilt as could be found. You don't make massive changes unless there's been massive wrong doing.

But - where IS the change? One may ask: What's so different about the way you're doing business now? Have you designed a new manner in which to continue to ignore your customers?

Is the differing element in the "order-of-magnitude" that part where the customer pays for the slovenly maintenance of his Utility? Why should those threatened with harm because of deferred maintenance and cost-cutting pay to replace 186 miles of gas transmission lines, then go on to foot the bill in order to retrofit nearly 200 miles more, putting in place machines that can inspect the pipes properly from inside? Is this a business transaction or "protection money?"

PG&E says they will replace 228 shut-off valves, when actually it is you who will pay their workers, put their kids through college. You'll front the whole operation with your cash.

As newer models of faucets, valves and pipes, that can stop the flow of gas automatically or by remote control are installed, you are intended to pay the cost. While the company centralizes and digitizes all its pipeline records, as they should have done years ago, you will finance the undertaking. And the cost is not only beyond enormous, it is behind schedule by decades.

The big deal, yipee-skippy, intricate PG&E Pipeline Replacement Plan was only very recently filed with the California Public Utilities Commission. It went public the last Friday in August, nearly a whole year after San Bruno exploded, blowing away eight human lives and decimating 38 residences.

Investigations into the blast, both State and Federal, have revealed a portrait of a lazy, company that takes it's paying customers for granted and ceased any effort towards excellence, cutting it's maintenance budget to the point of not only being ineffective but not being there at all. Bad welds, inconsistent safety testing and record-keeping so inept illustrate a disorganized Utility that didn't know the condition of many of its pipes. Still doesn't.

As August comes to its close, we look forward to a final report card. The National Transportation Safety Board is scheduled to report its conclusion on the cause of the explosion. Will this report justify PG&E heaping onto its customers' backs this heavily priced and massive clean-up? The pricetag: $768.7 million through 2014, ADDING $1.93 to a typical homeowner's monthly bill.

And that, unfortunately, isn't all Pacific Gas And Electric plans for those paying for its energy services. Additionally, all new equipment installed would become part of the company's "rate base." soon, you'll get a letter explaining the new look of PG&E's monthly statement.

The shareholders portion will be significantly less. Their total would be $220.7 million through the next three years, with money coming out of PG&E's profit. Shareholders would spend an additional $314.5 million on pipeline safety programs already under way. (And what the hell does PG&E know about public safety? That it practices. I mean.

"Over the long term, it certainly will have an impact on customers' bills, no doubt," says Piggy Head, Stavropoulos. "But this is something that needs to be done..."

"They (PG&E) have no integrity at all," Deaver said. "You can't trust these people with public safety issues."

"When we're done ... we're going to know everything we'll need to know about these facilities from the standpoint of safety," Stavropoulos said Friday.

Too damn bad we can't choose from a menu of utility companies one that knows how to keep us safe from inadequate maintenance, deadly accidents and deliberate gouging.

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