CANCELLED FAITH IN TRAFFIC GUY, SIR

BOTTLENECK OF TOO MUCH HOT AIR, REVIEWED
(Addressed to you as if you were a person making their living online)
Time to pay up!

Recently preparing incoming funds and statements for delivery to my bookkeeper, a significant American Express bill was discovered . Memory didn't offer a marker, so I looked further into that envelope for a clue as to what I had purchased that month for such an amount.

The charge was from an Online Marketers Tool-Set By Subscription, Trouble Geyser, (real name altered to obscure the guilty, but you know who). I thought it was an ongoing fee for the continued use of their software, available to members by fee for a fixed time, and that the time had run out. Ah! But, not the case, they said.

I was informed that my entry fee took me through the end of this year. Well then, if I'm good through December, why the charge? That entry fee was hefty.

A Tariff Guzzler finance person on the phone was asked about this mystery charge, and I received an immediate, though disappointing, response. It was a pre-fab answer, as you will read.

The very moment that question was answered with that formatted reply was the same time, to the micro-second, that the White Camel In The Room had it's back overburdened to collapse. It was the famous "Final Straw," and precisely when the Treasure Grabber firm's entire online marketing scheme broke through its flim-flam cover film and was seen suddenly as ludicrous. I mean embarrassingly farcical, in the way only an amateur on stage in front of thousands on opening night can turn absurd.

All at once the parasitic reality of the situation became clear, if surrealistically silly can pass for a description of "clear." Time seemed to stop as that ill-fitting, stock reply stood out as the loudest, most inane bleat in the room, pulled into use in only the manner of the scripted who cannot at all remember her script.

A "pat answer" was given, immediately attempting to blot out, rather than answer, my quite differently shaped question. Instantaneously, at the speed of light, i recognized that answer didn't fit and I was being mislead.

I think we all know how it feels to put our money down, walk away with our purchase, then find it was a hoax perpetrated only to take our money. The word oft used is "taken." (Old school: "taken down town," as if to the darker alley ways. and pilfered)

Bad Answer:
I was informed that the charge "probably" stemmed from "that aspect" of my other email account, established when I signed on with them, at their urging, with another of their tools (I refuse to mention but can be compared with Monster Foul Up). It couldn't; I didn't. That data is unchanged. Translation:  "ya da, ya da, ya da...".

Huh? I'm sorry. What did you marketing geniuses just say to me? Did I hear right? This additional money being charged to my account "PROBABLY" ...started with ..."that ASPECT" of my other email...

What ASPECT? How precise is this "PROBABLY" that she casually threw out at me? Those WORDS offered by way of EXPLANATION in exchange for ACTUAL, not maybe, money? Sorry, nope.

And while the assumption to use those words may have been formed from seeing the collective data on my other business email (I have a few email accounts as do most, you too?), I need facts, not suppositions, when it comes to what I'm purchasing, not unlike the cashier who requires actual cash, not its possibility.

The baffling thing is why a company representative would settle for so much less than the reality of this situation. Obviously, this tactic has been working for years.

Whenever I do MY job, whether on public airwaves or for clients online, I find the best with whom to work, and do the best I can. That's the professional way. When I was on the radio as a music presenter, if I were to let even one detail slip, I'd get a call on the Hot Line and have to account for it. I understood that. It was a given, because we wouldn't think of anything less than owning up to our actions, our words, and giving our best honest effort. Holding one's self responsible requires one to adhere to higher standards.

There's too much missing data in words and phrases like "probably," "chances are," "in all likelihood," and other evasive responses. Whenever I get runaround words when dealing with significant monetary investment, alerts go off inside like a submarine in war maneuvers.

Right away I know I'm not dealing with a business I can count on nor have faith in.

At the same time, I may not want to admit it. Perhaps it was enough money that I don't want the further distress of feeling the fool. There's turmoil inside, until I stop resisting. Then, it's as plain as can be.

Finally, fool or student, fist unclenched, heart open, I have to admit to myself: I don't want to continue my association with anything that any heartless, moneygrubbing prefabricated newbie actors (bad liars), or the reps in dinosaur-suits that hired them, are pitching. Why did that take so long? (Answer: blinded by desire.)

I should have noticed that clue hidden there in the feeling of needing to take a shower I had after seeing each of their spokesperson's videos, after each of their too oft repeated Inner Circle tenets and catch phrases, the obvious retreat in company policy from black hats to white hats, the further Platinum, Gold and Elite money levels established well before the bugs are removed from each level of access to the software...

But now... Whoa! Once that box of wrong doing is opened up, the plaque that held it all in place loses its grip and lets the rest slide right out.

All over the place.

Here comes more. I never did like their shoddy manner of teaching. I would have preferred a more distinct, orderly outline for study. Essentially they throw you in the bug pool and leave it up to you to figure out how to make the software swim. Too often it sinks, did I mention that?

At Tariff Guise, they have a nice collection of knowledge. Unfortunately, there's no real Lesson Plan, no leadership, no direction. Other than that Sink or Swim policy, I mean.

And boy is it breezy in there! There are numerous holes in the information. And infuriatingly lagging updates. While I was offered help, techs are slow (sometimes days) to get back to you because they're software simply isn't finalized while the internet never sleeps, constantly grows, reformulates. Often the out-dated software just doesn't work, then they might mention it two or three days, weeks later.

This slow-as-molasses reaction time is absolutely maddening to show-MUST-go on types. But the only show they know is the one: standing in front of a green screen and pitching another app to make up for the inadequacey of their own programs.

At best the Tarnished Geezer company, software and schemes are not dependable. This pulls its integrity into an area of High Doubt, a zone in which there is no longer trust. Many say out loud that TG released their product before it was completely bug free. Others say the original software was intended to cheat the system, but had to be changed or its users could be banished from the net for six months. These are lingering queries that have never been honestly responded to.

In fact, where, among the earnest promises of easy profits, was the honesty? While they pitched, "It's Easy," it is not at all. Great effort is required. No one could EVER honestly describe Social Media Marketing, its Search Engine Focused Strategies, the learning of methods to make videos that will actually be watched, the hundreds of forms to master and the thousands of other components of doing business online as "easy." It ain't.

The very ones who did make that claim of effortless income, in actuality, later told us that we could make money because it is NOT easy. We were told that prospective clients' eyes would glaze over in fear, as they pondered how hard and time consuming it could be, establishing and maintaining  an online social presence.

That part is true. When talking about the diversity of social sites and how to use them, clients often DO think, "it's too much! I don't have time!" Once they see online work as too hard, we were taught, "you've got them." This pitch completely contradicts their original assurances to us, given at the time WE were thinking, "this seems too hard."

How many other promises were manufactured to keep questions quiet while pushing their suite of not-ready-for-prime-time products, one wonders. They lost our trust; gone, evaporated.

Of course online marketing is not easy. Doing business on the internet is far too broad to be "easy." We know this only now, AFTER we bought in to the TG BS.

We sure didn't know it then. We handed over our money for this guaranteed new, easy way to make more money. Then, once inside the Tragic Gate, one learns the hard reality: You've been had.

Inside, one becomes all too aware that, among the fractured software and complicated, murky instructions, there are coaches available, by appointment, to assist with the software. Coaches? In place and standing by? Dang. This proves they were aware from the start that THIS IS NOT EASY, but said it to us straight-faced, anyway. Pre-meditated misinformation from the start. Again, dang.

Perhaps I shouldn't say this but I will anyway. Making appointments for help on software sold to you as easy-but-not, then waiting, with money-paying clients on hold, for a coach to tell you what buttons to push, is a large waste of time and money. For you and your clients.

The "easy" part of all this for me is my conclusion: These Guys're not worth ANY MORE time or money. Not a second, not a cent.

I have learned a small but expensive lesson here with this misrepresented suite of "easy" applications designed by Trust Grinder, but far more valuable morals and instructions from other online groups and forums dedicated to ethical social interaction and success. having developed my own circle of strength and honorable people in online marketing, with which to really make an impact in a business' prosperity, my company will continue to move from here, staying in touch with trustworthy acquaintances made along the way, making more, rolling forward.

-- Comments, from my experience, to The Grifters on Ways to improve, things that need attention:

(MY) COACH (another thing covered in membership fee) was unreliable at best, canceling our dates numerous times at the last minute and always making an excuse, never wrong. --NEEDS FIXING

TEACHING PLANS were non existent, knowledge unstructured, thus much learning was missed, even more time wasted searching. -- NEEDS SERIOUS STAFF ATTENTION

TRUST ISSUE: Too soon we learn that the head spokes-guy, always pitching non-stop - is a Selling Head ONLY. And ALWAYS. Thus, hardly worthy of genuine confidence. It was his game to lose. Somehow (by talking about how expensive his time now is, showing videos of himself in dinosaur suits, racing cars and focusing solely on the unsympathetic goal of becoming a billionaire?) he did it, managed to lose most of us. We're left with the feeling of being his "mark" rather than a part of what he calls his "family." -- TOO LATE, THE DINO OUTFIT IS PROBABLY ONLY THE FIRST OF MANY SUITS

What we were looking for was a leader, someone we could trust.

NOT READY: The suite of application products seem to have been released in a rush, well before the bugs were worked out, with members paying for research and development as they go. if one person complains about the stuff, it can be overlooked. If three or more say it's garbage, go into the land fill business or buy a trash can.  --NEEDS UPDATING, ORGANIZING AND SHOULD WORK ON ALL OPERATING SYSTEMS. ALSO - GET A GOOD WEB BUILDER.

IN FAIRNESS, reparation to unsuspecting, gullible buyers should seriously be considered. Compensation, for money laid out under false pretenses, time wasted, buggy software and many down times should be mandatory. It's only a matter of time before the class lawsuits begin. --QUIT HIDING, START HELPING.

While in the first three months of membership, aside from trying to sell their new list of marks, um members, every marketing app and set of instructions they could write on the fly, Trafficking Gabble came up with numerous so-called, finicky "updates." Their coaches held webinars, for selected members only, correcting terribly flawed information and lesson plans. Newer amendments to their fractured instructions and dishonorable win-at-any-cost philosophy appeared randomly on the home web site. Applications and strategies, which are really work-arounds or corrections (repeat: R&D paid for by earlier fleeded sheep) also stacked up. The email avalanche is another story. It was abusively non-stop.

They haven't learned a thing about integrity, now preaching a new "Building business and community" sales sub philosophy while continuing to pitch these corrections and improvements as "newer, easier." And they are none of that. Just as before. Real philosophy: be a Bazillionaire, whatever the loss in morals and integrity.

New hordes of eager-faced Social Media Marketers, fresh from glitzy, baloon laden pep talk seminars, are arriving every day, focused on prosperity and experiencing disappointment. Didn't want 'em to think they're the only ones taken downtown, as the rest of us were.

Truth be told, Social Marketing is not easy but you CAN do it. And look for people to work with who reek of integrity.

     --0--

FROM THE BOSS JOCK SCRAPBOOK

REMEMBERING FRANK TERRY

This mental scrapbook, bursting its binding with pictures, emotions and bigger than life recollections, has just flipped open to one of my best-loved characters. Some of my favorite people in the world are stored among these memories.

I open it up from time to time and must always wear shades. Careful, don't wince. That's just the blazing light reflecting off of one of radio's most brilliant, shining examples. That's Frank Terry, one of the original Boss Jocks.

As far as being a disc jockey goes, playing hits on the radio in the 60s and 70s, was, for most of us, the pinnacle. Being chosen as a Boss Jock meant you were among the best of the best. It was more than a high point in a radio career, it was the Golden Fleece. Frank Terry belonged there, fit in as naturally as green felt on a turntable.

Just starting out as a Boss Jock, I had heard rumors between the legendary tales of Robert W. Morgan and the Real Don Steele, of a "James Bond of DJs" who could travel, trouble shooting, from one Boss station to another and sound as if he had been there all the time. Moreover, you felt you knew and loved him all that while. He had little personal attachment to his past achievements to get in the way so, without that sort of demanding ego, when on the air, he really was your friend.

Off the air, too.

Growing along, learning the business, I was able to hear recording of his work, Like so many other "baby DJs," I listened and looked up to him. On the air, his easy style of delivery and attitude of sharing was a college education, a broadcast seminar and a wonderful, entertaining example of how to do it right the first time.

Years marched forward, I made it into the realm of the Boss Jocks. I started at their Fresno facility, KYNO, and worked my way up through San Diego, San Francisco , then L.A. When I became a Boss Jock worked alongside him, he was more approachable than many others. No investment in his own personal history was too big to block his friends from view. Not all that common among those in show business. I have had associates surprise me with their ambition and near desperate motivation to grab the limelight. Frank was already center stage in his own soul, thus comfortable to be with and always easy to communicate with.

We laughed often, long and hard, from a place deep inside, as if we had known each other all our lives. Instant family. Frank was like that, the epitome of the word, "inclusive."

When our career paths went in different directions, he seemed to fit in seamlessly at every station, no matter what kind of music and programming they were presenting. Frank seemed to effortlessly make it all his own, the mark of a professional and self starter. This was my chance to see his ability to adapt to any show, any audience. It was another education altogether, seeing how diversified he was on other music presentation, their various formats.

I heard he had moved to the northern part of the state. I heard he was not well. I heard he conquered the illness. I made plans with friends for a trek north to visit. But, before we could motor up that way, the news arrived that Frank had passed on.

Today, I still find myself looking up to him in memory. Now that he's moved on, he still manages to impress, still sounds and looks good. You can hear many examples of his air work, showcased at the official Disc Jockey Museum, the "aircheck channel," www.ReelRadio.com, where "the beat goes on."

New DJs and pod casters: look him up, listen to his ease and fluency, learn from the best. You can find him in various web niches. Frank Terry, remember him. He was the 007 of DJs, a jock's jock. But on the air he was none of that. He was simply your good and reliable friend.

--0--

IT'S THE ECOMONY, CUPID

The LOVE IT OR LOSE IT Top-40 TEST

With so much news of the declining economy crawling over and through every crevice of our lives, perhaps it's a good time to examine what we hold true about this experience.

Everyone has some sort of answer for today's economy. That answer is wrong. The guy with the hammer looks at everything as needing a good pounding. The lawyer wants new laws, The candlestick maker thinks we will all benefit from having a little more light shed on the subject.


The solution is not going to happen with these answers. Real knowledge has taught us that Love Is The Answer to all questions. We might do ourselves a real favor by mentally disengaging and putting all the questions on the desk and having our Inner Cupid review them.

We used to be better informed by the journalism in our country. Once, TV and radio news had integrity. But that integrity came with a budget. That's no longer the case.

News isn't being covered today with anywhere the same integrity as it was just three decades ago - it has devolved - because corporate owners decided to cut costs. This made them look good to numbers crunchers, but cheated shareholders and eliminated salaries for the reporters, editors, watch dogs.

You don't get the real news any more because there's no one there to cover it, the newsroom is all but empty, except for a few babysitters of the automated equipment.

This is unacceptable, yet goes without protest from the general public.

But, what if we threw out the answers, wiping the blackboard clean? The answers we have aren't working. Perhaps we can ponder the questions once more, this time, not being so hasty to jump to conclusions, but rather remain with them and ponder a while longer.

Maybe answers aren't what is called for here. How can a situation be resolved when it is always in motion?

The following is what will amount to a difficult experiment for some. The test is whether or not you can immerse yourself in the following Top-40 questions WITHOUT ANSWERING THEM. Just let them be there, acknowledge them, but do not answer. Here we go:

Do you consider yourself poor?
Do you label yourself as a loser for not making enough money?
Are you a loser?
Are you affected by our country's Downward Slide?
Do you have a certain goal towards wealth in mind, or simply the hazy term "richer?"
What does the loss of middle class status mean to you? Your family?
What was your idea of middle class?
How much is "more than enough?"
How is wealth measured? In money only?
Is there someone so much more rich that it unsettles you?
How much of your wanting more is fear based?
How much thought each day do you give your lack of wealth?
How much thought each day do you give your surfeit of wealth?
Is there such a thing for you as enough wealth?
What does the driving force to acquire more feel like?
Does the ambition for more riches make you happy?
What does the term super-rich mean to you?
Should anybody be able to get a decent paying job?
How many jobs should you have? Should your spouse work?
Do you have adequate insurance?
Do you now have to carefully manage money for groceries, utilities, rent, gasoline?
Is Big Business being fair with their fellow Americans?
Is the Democratic System broken? Is it the Administration's fault? Congress?
Is it your fault that you're not as wealthy as you once were?
Do you have an opinion on unions?
What are fair taxes?
Is Wall Street trustworthy? Should it be more tightly regulated?
Does it bother you that your fellow Americans surrendered to Big
    business without a fight?
What is your description of being poor?
Would you give an employee a raise? Why? Why not?
What are your feelings  - pro or con - on monopolies? Are you able to express them?
Is it OK with you that wages have remained stagnant for the past 30 years?
Have you given up your idealistic principles in the pursuit of more money?
Are you waiting for someone else to make the first move?
Would it be OK with you to Have Everything while your fellow citizens Have Nothing?
If you care about others' financial situations as well as your
    own, what would you do to get the economy rolling?
Do you feel 200 million citizens is a majority over the several hundred in
    our congress and Senate?
Is your comfort zone so cozy you won't leave it to help bring back a
    balance to the world's greatest nation, or can you still move?
Is The American Dream all over? If so, can you make a new dream?
Do you feel lied to, betrayed?
Are you a victim or are you a participant in your own success?

Again - do not answer these questions immediately. Wait a couple of days, even a week or two. There is incredible pure action in the stillness of your being, trust this. Just having these questions right in front of your blazing awareness for any length of time ought to do more for genuine positive growth than any economic genius could hope. Let them roll around unanswered for awhile inside yourself and watch what happens.

--0--

When Sad Mixes With Glad

 Keeping An Open Heart Anyway

Been away from my blog for awhile, sorry. Family comes first.

This is a sad note I write to you. It is through quite a large helping of melancholy I must report: I lost one of my brothers toward the end of last month. Heart attack. No one saw it coming. All so very suddenly, one beautiful, sunny morning, no more brother Brian.

Being the offspring with a taste in commercial radio in my blood, I was instantly nominated for delivering Brian's eulogy. What an impossible task - to sum up an intimate, wonderful, colorful lifetime in a scattering of words.

And - what an indescribable honor.

I am one of seven children, reared and steered by what I feel were the best parents on Earth. Funny, as we "kids" get older, our mom and dad continue to look better and better.

As people grow and gather world experiences, their understanding expands, and parents are placed under that super electron magnifying scope for a closer look. Mine just get better and better.

As do my siblings. There couldn't be a more diverse collection of individuals. All that I am, is the result of influences by mom and dad, and the sharing and learning that happened growing along with my brothers and sister.

Brian was the one with the wide open heart. Most folks you meet seem to have so many things about which you must learn before they can really let loose and befriend you. Not Bri. What you got, when he walked in, was instant, full force Brian, no pretenses.

As the hours began to gather momentum after the initial feeling of shock at this all-too-final news, it became more and more obvious this characteristic was a signiture in itself. At work, as Brian grew from the earthen vineyards to a management desk, he managed to keep all his friends along the way. ("He is my angel," one young lady told me through sobs) She and they all have become his loving extended family.

And so, there it was, all of a sudden; the eulogy wrote itself around his natural open-heartedness. The words came in a rapid blur. I jotted down the ideas as fast as they came. It was written not by thought, but by heart.

Somehow, I found this old school language in the Bible (Book of Psalms, 50:14) and I instantly understood the deeper meaning: "..Offer to God praise as your sacrifice and fulfil your vows to the Most High; then call upon me in times of distress; I will rescue you, and you shall glorify me."

To me it translated into something like this:"Give up crying over your loss, and instead offer genuine thanks and reverence for the gift your brother, Brian, has been and continues to be. Choose to focus on your Higher Power within, especialy during overwhelming sorrow, and, with an open heart, be consoled, see clearly and brought to peace. Then, thank God."

And that's what I DO feel. Such gladness everywhere, such thankfulness that I got to spend so many moments as part of the family we all made by being together. There are tears, of course, but behind them, in the stillness that is our backdrop for all in motion, is a pure streak of gratitude so real as to have no polar opposite.

As a family, we learned many years ago to end practically every phone call and meeting with "I love you," tagged onto "good bye," so I know I remembered to tell him and I know he knew I loved him. That's more of a solace than I could have known until now.

And his standard of always acting with an open heart is gleaming brighter by the hour. I aim to follow his example and do a much better job of it than in the past. When my heart is still and attentive, I can feel my brother as if he were sitting right beside me.

My huge thanks to you for allowing me to share pieces of my heart here like this. Guess you're part of our close, extended family.

--0--

USING NEW ENERGY SOURCES NOW

TWO BLOGS IN ONE:

Fresh Approach AND/OR Old Defenses...
I love cool, new advances in science. Like that unreal scanning, printing replicator I recently blogged about!

Well, here goes again.
Socket To Me
This time, scientists from the National Physical Laboratory, an organization that slipped under this blog jockey's radar, have discovered a heretofore unused energy source. If you didn't know it was there before, it's a discovery, right? Well, close enough.

As reported everywhere, including here in Views and Ways, an entire neighborhood in a San Bruno suburb exploded. The Gas Energy Provider, it turns out, couldn't find records of the latest maintenance. In fact, it has pretty much nothing reliable in its maintenance records at all. Your neighborhood could be next. Or mine. No records...

The keen minds at NPL have researched ways to harness energy unused in its first attack, or initial effort. It's the runoff stuff that our fellow bright minds have taken a second look at. They have scrutinized its source for energy that is otherwise wasted - dissipated as vibration, motion, uncaptured heat, even the vibrations of sound.

One of the ways mentioned, in a recent report on harnessing unused energy, is the use of a thermoelectric generator. A researcher explained, "...if you warm two metal plates up by rubbing your hands, getting friction and thus generating heat," he said, "it then will be turned into electrical power,"

            "If it is ultimately determined that we were
            responsible for the cause of this incident, we will
            take accountability," a Gaseous Explosion Person
            said. "Our thoughts go out to everyone affected by
            this terrible situation."
            
            Thoughts?

Other basic actions were sorted out as examples. "The second device is somebody pedaling on a bicycle connected to a generator, and a third system is a piezoelectric device - if you squeeze it or bend it, you put a strain on it and it produces an electrical signal and you can capture that."

None of these technologies are new, but today, it is becoming more and more economically important to capture energy instead of wasting it.

And some forward thinking companies are already doing it.

            Here's what those thoughts amount to. In what must
            be a new low in the preoccupation of becoming a
            limbo lawyer, it was suggested that the Giant,
            Gaseous Energy monopoly's legal firm will sue its
            own customers, somehow holding the grieving San
            Bruno residents responsible for those horrifying gas
            pipeline explosions that disintegrated their
            neighborhood.

Volkswagen, for instance, is using a piezoelectric generator connected to the exhaust to capture the heat produced by a car's engine.

At two train stations in Tokyo, power-generating mats have been installed under the floors to capture the vibrations from tens of thousands of commuters and then renew this energy as electricity.

Getting more from less. That's another way of saying it and not a new idea, either. But discovering ways to do tap energy unused so far can happen all the time, any time.

--0--

HAVE YOUR SCAN PLAN READY?

YOUR FUTURE'S STILL WAY AHEAD OF THE GAME
I love emailing back and forth with my good friend, Bill Young, who heads up the outfit I just joined. He is so ahead of the curve it's almost uncanny.

Bill's book, "Dead Air - The Rise And Demise Of Music Radio," chronicles the amazing voyages and people his choices brought through him in radio's Airwave Carnival as he operated from the land he loves so much, Houston Texas.

Rather than go on and on about the sci-fi nature of our current existence, I'll just beam you aboard the very latest discovery to which Bill alerted me as you click on the cartoon that anchors this particular blog.

Besides, all I can say right now is, "Wow!"

LAVE SUS MANOS

IF YOU KNOW HOW...

It's almost here!  In July the Food Safety Law, otherwise known as SB 602, goes into effect. That, however, is not the most fascinating piece of news in this particular state-wide story. What's disturbing is: practically no one knows about it.

According to the new edict, all food service employees, must take and pass the California Food Handler Training test by July 1, 2011. Not only is the date already here, most restaurants don't even know such a law has come into being.

As July unfolds, it appears there may be a whole new herd of criminals. If you look,  you'll see a profusion of restaurant owners and their employees breaking the new law, named "SB 602," or "The California Food Handler Card Law." And with good reason. For the most part, restaurants, at least in San Francisco, apparently haven’t even been officially notified.

Did you know about this? The bill was signed into law six months ago, goes into force this month, and requires California restaurant employees must now take the mandatory training in food safety.

Food Safety doesn't mean they're trying to avoid cruelty or accidental injury to a Harris steak or Cobb Salad. It's aimed at protecting your digestive system.

While it’s a law for which anyone would most probably show strong approval, its lack of an official announcement signals weak intention. And nervous food workers.

The few who have heard about it are feeling a range of emotions from perturbation to full tilt anxiety as they learn they are each expected to pay a tuition, take the course, and pass it. Then, when they win their Food Handler Safety Card, good for three years, it must be secured in their employers' file.

Most in the food industry know nothing about this, but the minority of employees that do, are clambering to find the two-hour, $15 test, hoping to meet the deadline.

Readers of this blog may have a few questions of their own.

Why, for example, there are still hundreds of places that haven’t heard about the new law? Or the test? Or where to take it?

Why, also, do you suppose, is the new Food Handler Safety Card Law course offered only in two languages - English or Spanish? At this writing, employees who speak only Chinese, for example, are pretty much out of the food service loop for now. Why is that? Does the Health Department assume only certain races qualify for this kind of food safety?

Or is this one of those deals that wasn't properly thought out?

And how will this new unpublicized ruling be enforced? Well, that will be the task of the county health departments, who are responsible for notifying restaurants of the laws and consequent penalties for noncompliance. One imagines a task force, dressed in California gold and brown jumpsuits, converging on suspected eateries, rounding up all the employees and giving them a good soap and water lathering.

Seriously, how can a law be enforced when no one knows about it? I mean, other than cramming that tired old saw, "Ignorance of the law is no excuse," down our pie holes. That's not what we chose from the menu...

Who's in charge here, anyway? Reportedly, the Public information officer Eileen Shields, hadn’t even heard of our new law.

But the Director of Environmental Health Regulatory Programs, Richard Lee, has. He's been meeting with other directors around the state, trying to untangle the wording of the law and thus make it viable. He says "don't panic." Not just yet, anyway.

Lee says his department has not yet apprised any restaurants, as our lawmakers stall the passage of SB 303, in an attempt to clean up the language in the previously written rules. He says his department doesn’t plan to enforce the law until next year; he will send out information in September.

So, remember to wash your hands before chowing down. Eventually the Direstor and his staff WILL start enforcing the law.

The punishment for noncompliance after the Food Handler Law finally does go into effect in another seven months? “I don’t think there will be a fine,” Director of Environmental Health Regulatory Programs, Lee says. (Wanna bet, says I?) “We’ll just note it as a violation.” If the restaurants still don’t comply, the department will take away their health permit to operate.

And force them to scrub behind their fingernails and ears.

--0--