WELCOME ABOARD the Neverending Ocean Cruise!

Welcome to the deep end,
Glad To Have You Here
...where we find shorter spaces between us.
-- Bobby Ocean

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Big, Or At The Least, Very Imposing, Brother Broadcasters



CORPORATE RADIO NEW HOUSE RULES, STRUCTURE, DRESS CODE...

When I entered radio a few decades ago, Programming was recognized as Top Priority, from where the money came. That which is on the air RIGHT NOW was paying for everyone's groceries and its Fearless Leader and those who worked under the Programming banner were respected, if not understood. As long as the ratings were good.

Times have changed, as Radio Solutions Experts (Time Peddlers) love to tell me when I visit any station in L.A., for example. "SALES is in charge NOW," they boast. Hmmm... Since when has the listener bonded with Sales?

More, since Sales is the new boss, what are they doing with that ability to attract, entertain and maintain an audience? I'll tell you this: when the coin obsessed don't know a thing about entertainment or broadcasting, they outsource it. They hire a programming consultant. Some of these radio consultants are priceless. I've even heard of one "expert" with a consultant of his own: a fortune teller. It was true; he mistrusted his own instincts so much he had to pull in Madam Turban and her crystal ball. Funny, and inadequate is REALLY funny.

A monstrous Conference Call of Radio 'Who's' for This One Corporation In Particular was reported to have taken place last week. It was between Those Who Tell Others What To Do on your air waves, (what songs to play, who to hire and fire, what costs to cut) and Those Who Must Obey.

The conference call was held by radio programming consultant Mike McVay, who,  among other dictates, apparently informed his troops, "All contracts with programming consultants will be severed immediately." If this is so, Mike just axxed himself, a first that deserves to be applauded.

But, dang, no. There was an even more recent interview, designed to spin the previous one, and, in it, we learn he didn't say, or especially MEAN that.

Nor did he mean there were 500 corporate managers and programmers on the line. That was just the inability to spin a lower number of attendees, is all. But there were enough on the call, maybe 350, to eventually realize everything he said would turn out to be otherwise.

So - when he said, "Jan Jeffries is the head of Country, Top 40 and Hot AC stations." what he meant is that Jan has been doing that all along. Still doing it NOW. I guess he just threw that in or thought it required repeating.

 
The statement, "Programmers will also receive a list of...(song) adds, other(s) ... will be subject to corporate approval." in fact turns out to include an open season reverse loophole: "...we're going to give those PDs the ability to decide the songs they want to play." (from that list they received?) "Part of my whole thing is that I want to get the very best broadcasting minds in the business in our company..."

Well! That's a big difference, even though that last sentence was completely irrelevant to the topic of Choosing Music or Following Corporate/Consultant Play Lists.

But, let's keep rolling. The edict made during the conference call, mandating "Stations will no longer be permitted to talk with record company promotion personnel..." is ACTUALLY: "...100% wrong," according to McVay. "They can absolutely talk to record company promotion personnel and can go to lunch or dinner or with them. I did say we have rules and regulations we all must live by, and I want record company promotions to run through corporate." Then McVay added, to underscore absolutely no point made earlier: "By the way, it is all about entertainment."

Well, I AM being entertained. By the acrobatics; indefatigable flip-flipping.

When, during the vast conference call, it was said, "All adds by all stations will be reported exclusively to Mediabase by one person in Atlanta," McVay INTENDED to say, rather, that they want the programmers to report all adds exclusively to Mediabase by one person, John Kilgo here (in Atlanta), who has always (done that)..." And to clarify, "I don't ...think that's too much to ask for a programmer, particularly if we're utilizing their input in the music they provide to us."

Huh? trying to follow that sentence was not unlike following a Mobius Strip. You give up trying to make sense of it and wait for it to end. but it just goes on and on. I lost the scent of reason at the part of the trail where "all stations were to be reported by ONE PERSON."

What about the new rule: "Programmers will have to make 'good arguments' if they choose not to carry Citadel Media-supplied programming?" What that really meant, says McVay, "...wasn't said in those words, either...What I said is that...if we have shows on our network that you're interested in and they're available in your market, I encourage you to take them....I heard one of our stations playing music and rolling sweepers with no air talent whatsoever, no voice-tracking, nothing that connected us with the community on a holiday weekend. [editor's note: nice to see that even the suits notice the effects of their own cost-cutting. OK, sorry]...I'd rather you carry syndicated programming than just play music and sweepers...."

And IF that Programmer WOULD RATHER NOT choose from Citadel Media-supplied programming, NOR finds interest in any other syndicated shows, THEN, before hiring anyone to do weekends, she can start writing out those "good arguments," right?

That tidbit about "Sometime in October, a new 'Programming Operating System' will be put into effect..." doesn't exactly mean that either. It goes into effect within days (or a few days ago, depending on when you're reading this) and it's absolutely not new; nothing different about it at all. The so-called 'New' Programmimng OS is not at all unlike what McVay called his Media's Systems Management Manual for years. Looks like the man is recycling his assets.

The news blip that said "Format Managers will be appointed, and programmers are being encouraged to apply for those posts" had a spin.  (And, of course they'll want to apply! It's either that or lose their income. That's a typical, undignified, cookie-cutter corporate scheme to avoid bestowing raises: eliminate the position, then create it again with a new name and make proven employees go through the application process.)

McVay says that, after the telephone conference, he "...got about 150 emails from individuals inside Cumulus who are interested in being brand managers, format captains, more involved in programming and having their responsibility and role enlarged." [read: keep pulling in a paycheck even if it means extra duty at less pay]

"So," says the Big Brother-man who keeps HIS paycheck and security at the expense of an entire corporation of others, "I'm really looking forward to digging within our company, as well as without, to find the best programmers and give them greater responsibility."

Gut it, Mighty Hunter Mike. Fill it with the desperate. Then sell it.

Here's the so-obvious-that-he-now-denies-it-Big-Brother-line: "...individual employees are not permitted to talk to the trades." That would be against Free Press, so... Not true, right, Mike?

Big Bro Mike says, "Not true; it never came up on the call. I would encourage our programmers to be interviewed and have profiles... the names that I'll announce sometime in the next 30-60 days are ones who ...I'll want ...to be interviewed. (In other words, re-apply for your old job IF you have created a corporate profile)

Finally: "...A dress code has been implemented: no blue jeans, flip-flops, piercings or exposed tattoos."

The next day, McVay was interviewed and said, "...Honest to God, it was never mentioned. I mean, today is casual Friday. I am wearing jeans, no socks, brown shoes and I have on a shirt that's tucked out."

I'm aghast, Mike, you hippy. He goes on, "...I've been saying I want to change the culture...SVPs stuck a note on my door that said, "I'm changing culture, not clothes." (Bet that SVP is wearing a gray suit, white shirt and red tie today)

And the Corporate Choke Chain, gagging your drones at Big Broth... um, corporate cluster of radio stations, that's all in our minds and not at all true either, right Mike?

"I'm sure if you're in Cumulus", he said, using the old scaffold analogy, "you feel like the noose around your neck was loosened. And I'm sure if you're in Citadel, you went, 'Hey, there's a noose around my neck.' So it's all perspective."

If you say so, sir. Point of View, then, got it. Way ya look at it, sure. Shee... I practically have a blog with that name...

Here's a POV: Instant irrelevance. A gentleman I've always had a nice chunk of admiration for, as I watched his radio programming consultancy move along over the decades, suddenly blows all that perseverance in one conference call. Now he's sounding like a writer for Rush Limbaugh. It's like one of those zombie virus movies.

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Saturday, September 24, 2011

Add Another Dimension.

YOUR VIDEOS MORPHED INTO 3-D
How could YouTube, owned by Google, get bigger and what good can come of it for you? Well, strap on your 3-D goggles and hang on.

With zero cost for expensive new gear, another dimension has just been added to your video-making. That's right! Your vids can be seen in 3-D.



I was spying, um, researching... Ok, Ok, my FB friend Robin shared a link with me. That led to another, and so on, until it became so dimensional. Literally.

From the official YouTube blog, this week, of Product Manager Shenaz Zack Mistry, entitled "Additional Creator Tools from YouTube," these gems:

Sparkler-1: One-click 3D video conversion! It's beta but before this cutting edge app showed up, you had to set up two cameras, combine the footage from each, and use special software to synch it up and make it look just right. No more. Today with Youtube you can enjoy 2D to 3D conversion. "Converted videos will be viewable by everyone in 3D." Yay.

Added Luster: No more time limit.

I HATE that online streaming dialog box that pops up saying, "you have already watched 72 minutes of Mega Video. Sign up or go away for a specified amount of time." As of today, less limitations. "The Google-owned video site announced... (select users will) no longer be limited to 15-minute videos."

In a statement that could have been written by Steve Jobs, the Marriage Of Humanities And Arts With Doing Business was once again underscored, "YouTubers are some of the most innovative, entertaining and inspirational people in the world, and their creativity often needs more than the current upload limit of 15 minutes."

Sparkler-2, and 3
: Free apps! To edit your video and add ost production effects. "We’re adding two additional video creation platforms for you to make your videos even better: Vlix and Magisto. Vlix lets you spice up your videos by adding cool effects and text to the video intro and closing. Magisto takes your unedited video and automatically edits it into short, fun clips."

Just a few decades ago, it seems, computers started showing up in homes and the spread didn't stop. With them came the entire publishing business, from type-setting to word processing to printing with lazors.

Ray Kutzweil  seems to be right on about ubiquitous machines and exponential costs. Today, it seems the computer makers are stumbling all over each other to bring us the video industry.
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Friday, September 9, 2011

AN UPLIFTING UPDATE

Twin Tower Remembrance, Rebuild

As this month begins
we'll see a lot of different points of view concerning what has enterd our lexicon as The Nine-Eleven Tragedy.

Of all the stories you've heard, could you ever describe one as a story
you like? Well, maybe one or two.


A  picture's worth a thousand frames.


Certainly this one.

Here's a future memory. It's something that will have your chest thumpin', make you proud to be an American again.

Also you'll probably feel uplifted and delighted with the hard working New York construction crew in this great video, sent along to me by a friend, passed on to you likewise, as yet another of the endless Views and Ways.

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Sunday, September 4, 2011

BEFORE CORPORATE RADIO : REMEMBERING IT ALL

The Inaccuracy Of "Nothing But Good Times"
Radio was the carnival I ran away from home to join, the raft I sailed through the infinite river of my Huckleberry imagination, the obsession with which I wrestled all my life.

As I began my career in broadcasting, it was limitless in scope, with the future as promising as living in the house right next door to Heaven. It was show biz, it was exhilarating, it was a slice of Eternity.

But it wasn't all good times, and to sequester the favored moments is flawed perception. A personal choice of limited outlook can only be described as delusional. The good times that, in fact, there were, stand out as even better only when one recalls the everyday flaws in the mix.

Memory isn't for just looking back on the so-called "good times," but all times -- every kind of situation that can be imagined squeezed into that dynamic duration.

Look again:

Remember the anxiety as ratings were yet to be announced?
Remember the things promised you that were never delivered?
Remember the disappointment when part of the team shirked their duty?
Remember when you found out a so-called friend turned out not to be?
Remember the sinking feeling when your ratings took a dip?
Remember when the listener called to ask you to play a song you just played?
Remember the many times you weren't acknowledged for your contributions?
Remember the embarrassment when inadvertently doing something not in the format?
Remember the suspense when you did something deliberately not in the plan?
Remember the empty feeling when a good programmer was replaced by a lame one?
Remember the lousy feeling when an entertainment choice was sacrificed for financial gain alone?
Remember when the phone never lit up?
Remember the drive in to work, through a drop-dead beautiful day, to a dank, closed-off studio?
Remember when the other guy was late for his shift, leaving you stuck?
Remember the phone calls asking, "What did I win?" when you weren't having a contest.
Remember wincing when the new boss delivered a stupid, minor market, newbie directive?
Remember being sorry for the good people axed in favor of an imaginary budget?
Remember losing a great jingle package for a newer, lesser one??
Remember records being replaced by playback media with no labels to see rotating on the turntable?
Remember knowing what you were capable of and being hobbled by a supervisor in fear??
Remember finding out that a few others made more money than you?
Remember wading waist high in the doubt created by others on the team?
Remember the PD coming back from a convention or focus group with bad ideas?
Remember the good ideas you had that weren't considered?
Remember breaking the rules and how it felt when you were wrong? Right? And then, caught?
Remember being typecast?
Remember reading and re-reading stale liners; worse: cut-and-paste copies from the last regime?
Remember how you felt when you learned your boss had to taught the names of the Beatles?
Remember imported programming stooges who always said, "The way we did it back in (town)..."?
Remember headphone hair?
Remember when the only motivation for career furtherance was being fired?
Remember having to clean up the mess in the control room from the previous pig?
Remember the multitude of means available for feeling isolated?
Remember the lay crowd talking glowingly about the other station?
Remember constantly having to prove yourself? Especially to each newer, younger PD?
Remember working when sick?
Remember having to apologize for something you still think was funny at the time?
Remember being told that the one who hired you was fired?
Remember when the lyrics you knew so well meant different things when heart broken?
Remember when you pushed a button and nothing happened?
Remember knowing it was a bad idea and having to sell it anyway?
Remember having to cross plug another jock you didn't like?
Remember feeling inadequate?
Remember finding your headphones, used by another, broken?
Remember fighting for an absolutely essential budget?
Remember when the other station's jocks had jingles and you didn't?
Remember discovering you were cheated out of money you rightfully earned?
Remember being misused, as opposed to properly being used?
Remember cue burns?
Remember control room filth, built up like plaque from lack of regular maintenance?
Remember your plans for the future beyond Boss Radio?

Do yourself the kindness of remembering it ALL, good and bad. Helps you see the future.

There were plenty of great experiences, but you would hardly remember them if it wasn't for their counter balance, the less-than-good times.
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